Little Shift #6: Commitment Beats Chemistry

Chemistry gets a lot of credit.

In dating.
In work.
In new ideas.

It’s the first conversation that flows easily. The client who “just gets it.” The project that feels exciting right out of the gate. Chemistry makes things feel light, effortless, and full of possibility.

But chemistry doesn’t build a relationship.
Commitment does.

The same is true in coaching and consulting. A sustainable practice isn’t built on great meetings alone. It’s built on what happens between them.

Consistency Builds partnership

Most of us are good in the room.

We listen well. We ask thoughtful questions. We notice patterns quickly. We bring presence, insight, and care to the conversation. That’s often why clients are drawn to us in the first place.

But the relationships that last — the ones that deepen, expand, and turn into repeat work and referrals — are rarely sustained by chemistry alone.

They’re built through consistency. Through attention. Through the small, often invisible acts that signal: I’m invested in you and in this work.

In relationships, the difference between dating and partnership isn’t the spark. It’s what you do after the spark fades. You show up. You remember. You follow through.

Work is no different.

The unglamorous work

Commitment doesn’t announce itself. It shows up quietly.

It looks like taking notes that go beyond deliverables and timelines — notes that capture what someone is worried about, what they’re navigating, what matters to them right now.

It looks like remembering details and referencing them later. Not in a performative way, but in a way that says: I was paying attention.

It looks like sending the follow-up email — every time. Even when it feels unnecessary. Even when the meeting was clear. Especially when you’re tired or moving quickly to the next thing.

A thoughtful follow-up doesn’t just recap what was said. It reflects what was heard. It names what feels important. It reinforces shared ownership of the work.

And sometimes, commitment looks like reaching out when you’re not “on the clock.” Sending an article that connects to something they mentioned. Naming a pattern that surfaced after you had time to reflect. Asking a question that didn’t quite fit in the meeting but keeps nudging at you afterward.

These moments matter more than we often realize.

Where trust actually builds

Clients may be impressed by insight in the moment — but they trust consistency over time.

They notice who remembers.
Who follows through.
Who stays connected to the work, even when it’s not urgent.

Over time, these small acts do something powerful. They turn chemistry into credibility. They turn good conversations into lasting relationships. They turn one engagement into a partnership.

This is the part of the work that rarely makes it into marketing language or highlight reels. It’s unsexy. It’s quiet. It’s easy to skip when things get busy.

And yet, it’s often the difference between a practice that feels transactional and one that feels deeply relational.

In February, when we’re reminded that love isn’t built in grand gestures but in steady care, this little shift is worth revisiting.

Not more sparkle.
More commitment.

3 ways to show your commitment

1. Take notes for the relationship, not just the work.
Capture what matters to the person, not only the project. Concerns, pressures, and priorities are as important as action items.

2. Follow up — thoughtfully and consistently.
Send the email. Reflect what you heard. Name what feels important. Reinforce shared ownership and next steps.

3. Stay connected between meetings.
When an insight, question, or resource comes to mind, share it. Small moments of attention build long-term trust.

Little shifts.
Big difference.